Only Hope: Realizations
by Maj.Sam.Carter
Summary: Old, one-shot that I wrote a while ago. Song based. I don't know. Read, review, have fun, enjoy!


**Only Hope: Realizations**

Disclaimer: Stargate characters don't belong to me. I wish they did...

Ramble: Yeah, so this is an old, one-shot that I found on my computer. I think it sucks. But I put it up anyway. Enjoy...

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**There's a song that's inside of my soul, It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again, I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over and over and over again **

She couldn't concentrate on the evening's work she had been assigned, her mind being on other things. She was searching her mind for the dream of last night. It had been so right, so real, it had been what she truly wanted. The ring on her left ring finger glinted meanly, and she knew why. This ring was not supposed to be given to her by the man that it was, and she was not supposed to accept it. But there was nothing she could do. She was getting married to the wrong person, simply because she could not tell… him… that she loved him. Loved him so deeply, that it hurt her not to be near him, made her short of breath when she touched him. Her whole body ached with the need to be held and loved from this one man. But she couldn't tell him. It might cost them their jobs, more importantly, their friendship.

"_It wouldn't have worked out anyway, Sam. Jack is just out of your reach. I'm not sure I want to get married to Pete anyway. It just doesn't feel right when you love somebody else."_

**So I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours. I pray to be only yours. I know now, you're my only hope. **

He gazed sadly at the picture on his desk. The four of them, at the annual Christmas party, in front of a holly decorated Stargate. He smiled at the memories of that night. He had a chance to be close to her, to laugh and smile and be happy. He remembered when his two other team members had shoved them both under the mistletoe, and she had to stand on tiptoe to kiss him. Of course, it hadn't meant anything to her, but to him, it was ecstasy. He was addicted to her, and he wanted so badly to hold her, and to feel her love him. But she had her own life. She was getting married soon, and he didn't want to ruin her happiness. But he couldn't bring himself to let her go.

"_Goddamn it! Sam Carter, why can't I stop loving you!? Why do you have to get married to someone who isn't me? God, I wish she knew…"_

**Sing to me of the song of the stars, of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again, When it feels like my dreams are so far, sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again. **

They had only known each other two years, but they were amazingly close. Everyone knew it was against policy, but no one could figure out why they hadn't admitted their feelings. They had gone to all lengths to save each other on off-world missions, if that happened to be the case. They were always asking for the other if they were sick, and Lord knows that they argue like a married couple. Yet no one said anything. She was getting married, and he was more involved in work than ever.

**And I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray, to be only yours. I pray to be only yours. I know now you're my only hope. **

She sighed as she packed up her work. She had the overwhelming urge to run to him, tell him how she felt. She didn't care if she got fired, she wanted him to know. But she would ruin so much by doing it. Their friendship, her career, her soon to be marriage, her possible future. She was safer keeping it to herself. She was keeping him safe by not telling him. Anyway, it would scar her for life if he told her he didn't feel the same way. No, she was going to do what she had been doing since the day she met him. It was her secret, and would always remain that.

**I give you my empathy, I'm giving you all of me, I want your symphony singing in all that I am, At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back **

His room was too quiet, so he got up to walk around the building. Maybe it would take his mind off her. He didn't notice where he was going, and he found himself faced with the door to her lab. The door stared at him, telling him it would be okay if he went inside and spilled his heart out. But he knew he couldn't. For Christ's sake, she was getting married! He could not – would not – ruin her marriage. She deserved whatever made her happy, and he was going to give her all he could, even if she didn't love him. His hand was on the door handle, and before he could stop himself, he was inside her lab, the door shut. With her. Alone.

**And I lay my head back down, and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours. I pray to be only yours, I pray to be only yours.**

She looked up at him. He smiled, but his dark eyes showed that he was sad. Her heart dropped to see him upset. He walked over to the side of her desk, and stopped, never taking his endless brown eyes off her. She stood from her seat and wrapped her arms tenderly around him. Her warmth made him shiver. His smell made her smile. They felt genuinely happy, there in each other's arms. Sam raised her head to look into the handsome face of her commanding officer, friend, and long hidden love. Jack gazed back at the woman that he held so dearly in his heart, pained by the fact that she wasn't his.

_**I know now you're my only hope. **_

Sam realized that this was her chance, her one chance, to tell him the truth. She stood on her toes, and gently placed her lips onto his. This wasn't like the kiss they shared at Christmas, this wasn't just for fun. It meant something. Something that no word can describe better than love. He melted into her, tasting the soft, sweet perfection that she was. He had longed to taste it again, and she was giving it to him. Sam broke the gentle, perfect connection, and looked at him with such love and understanding that it touched something deep down inside him. He had never known true, real love, but here she was, showing him.

"Jack… I love you." It was just a whisper, but even if he hadn't hear, he would have understood.

"If you want the truth," he replied, in an equally quiet voice, "I love you too."

She smiled, and pressed her lips on his, fulfilling the need that she had wanted for so long. It was his turn to break it.

"What about your wedding?"

"It's never going to happen." He heard a small clink, but he didn't care to find out what it was, because he had what he wanted and loved, and that was all he cared about.

Sam's engagement ring would never feel her fingers again. It lay on the cold floor, forgotten for ever.

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A/N: Yep, that's it. Review please. It's old, and I know my writing techniques suck... Heh.


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